8th Wheel, 9th wheel
by DeviousDegrassi
Summary: Near the end of his senior year, Spinner finds himself locked in a very unexpected love triangle. SLASH
1. Unexpected Guest

I woke upsuddenly. I felt disgusted, yet at the same time I felt aroused. I had had the dream again.

Drenched in sweat, I slowly got out of bed. The walls of my apartment seemed to be falling in on me. I don't know if that was because I had just woken up or because I had been drunk the night before. As I entered the bathroom, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. I'd gotten so much thinner since I started living there. I'd cut my hair since the previous year. It was just brown again...very plain. I liked it.

I stumbled over to the toilet to take a piss. As I reached down, I realized that my boxers were wet. My dream had been a wet dream. I finished peeing before washing my hands vigorously. Then I turned the shower on. I needed to clense myself of this awful feeling. I felt so dirty. I felt dirty every time I had the dream.

My stomach growled slightly as I made my way into the kitchen. I hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous day. As I reached into the cubbard to pull out a box of cereal, I noticed a plethera ofbeer bottles lying on the counter beside me. Suddenly I felt sick. I dropped the cereal and hurried back into the bathroom. Leaning over the toilet, I felt like I was about to vomit. But I never did. After a few painful minutes, I stood back up and felt the water in the shower. It was warm now.

I took off my undershirt and then my boxers and quickly jumped inside the shower, pulling the curtain shut. As I washed the sweat and dirt from my face, I closed my eyes. I felt peaceful now, not dirty. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

But then the painfully arousing dream snuck it's way into my mind once more. It was me and Craig. We were on my bed and Craig was lying on top of me. He whispered into my ear and then I noticed that neither of us were wearing any clothes. He kissed me and I ran my fingers up and down his side. I felt him all over, growing more and more excited with every inch I touched. "Oh Spinner," he moaned softlywhen I got ahold of his ass and squeezed as passionately as I could.

I opened my eyes quickly. I was smiling. I looked down at my perky erection and I had the most intenselonging forthe touch of another man. What felt wrong only minutes ago now felt so right. My hand moved to my member. I gripped it gently at the base. With a moan, I moved slowly up and down.

I started to pick up speed as I imaginedexploring Craig's bodyfarther and farther. Suddenly my knees gave out and I sort of hunched forward. The pleasure was getting greater and greater. I was going to climax in a matter of seconds. I stopped to catch my breath. My penis was literally pulsatingwith excitement, but I didn't want to finish yet. I started to rub my nipples gently so that I could barely feel it. This sent a chill down my back and I could no longer resist the urge to grab my dick again. For a few minutes I just leaned back against the shower wall and squeezed my cock repeatedly.

Then I started at it again. It wasn't very long until I came. I erupted all over the floor and the wall. I watched breathlessly as the water continuously tried to push my semen down the drain.

By the time I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist, I had forgotten all about my dream. That's how it had always been.

The telephone rang as I re-entered the kitchen. I picked it up to hear a very familiar voice.

"Hey Spin, what's up?" Jay said in his very "cool" way.

"Nothing," I spoke for the first time that day.

"Okay...well what are you doing tonight?" Jay asked.

"Nothing," I repeated blandly.

"Do you wanna hang? Get out some of those graduation jitters?" Jay asked cutely

"Sure," I said, starting to laugh at the sound of his voice. I thought silently for a couple seconds before I said, "You do mean we're going to drink, right?"

"Yeah," Jay laughed, "I'll bring the 151."

"Thank God," I exclaimed, "I am so sick of beer."

"Yeah me too," Jay agreed.

We were both quiet for a couple seconds. It wasn't awkward though. It's never awkward between us. We just understand each other I guess.

"Alright, well I gotta go," I said quickly, thinking of the cereal in my cubbard, "I'll see you later"

"Okay, man. Peace." He said.

We both hung up. This is what it had been like almost every weekend since I got my apartment (which was about 4 months ago). Jay and I would get together and drink and talk about how we were both outcasted or about some other reason why our lives were so bad. We'd stay up till 5 in the morning sometimes just rambling on and on about our stupid shit that nobody else cared about. Sometimes he'd sleep on the couch, but most of the time we just stayed up until he was mostly sober so he could drive home.

I don't know how, but I'd been getting by in school somehow. With graduation just around the corner, I was skeptical. I kept thinking that they were going to pull some shit and fail me eventhough I'd gotten all my credits. Graduation didn't mean much to me because I didn't plan on doing anything with my life, but for some reason I really wanted that diploma. Maybe I just needed to prove to all of my old friends that I wasn't the loser they thought I was. No matter how often I told Jay that I didn't care about them anymore, I never believed it. I always wanted my friends back.

When I was finished with my cereal, I came to the realization that I had never gotten dressed. Iwalked over to my dresser and pulled out some random clothes. I took off the towel and then discovered that I hadn't taken out a pair of boxers. As I searched my unorganized drawers for a clean pair of underwear, I felt like someone was watching me. Suspicious, I turned around quickly.

Craig was standing there. My old friend Craig, who hadn't so much as acknowledged me since the previous year was standing in my apartment, staring at me with his mouth open in surprise.

"Craig," I said in utter bewilderment, "What are you doing here?"

He seemed to come out of a trance.

"Uhh...Spinner," he said cautiously.

"Yeah?" I asked, still confused.

"You arent' wearing any clothes," he pointed out.

I looked down and then suddenly became aware that I was completely naked. I quickly turned around and surprisingly found a pair of boxers on top of the dresser. Ihurriedly put them on while Craig laughed at me...something he hadn't done in so long. I smiled.


	2. Nostalgic

Craig and I sat down at my kitchen table. It had 2 seats. One was for me and the other was for Jay (since he basically lived here). I offered him a cup of coffee, but he refused it. I enjoyed my own cup.

"So," I said intelligently, sipping at my coffee, "You're here, why?"

Craig looked up. He looked frantic like he had thetime last summer whenhe was off his meds. I thought briefly of asking him if he had taken his medication, but then I thought against it. Telling Joey last time hadn't gotten me anything; in fact, it haddrawn Craig even farther away from me.

"Well I thought I'd come--" he began to say.

"Look, I know you want something from me," I interrupted plainly, "So just skip whatever you were going to say and tell me what it is you need me to give you."

Craig looked confused at first, but then he recovered.

"I don't need something...well I do," he said to me, "but that's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?" I asked again.

"I wanted to see how you've been," Craig said sincerely, "I realized that I miss being around you and want that to change."

At first I didnt' know whether to believe him or not, because I was fairly positive that this was only building up to whatever it was he needed. But I couldn't help but feel lighter. I wanted to make things right with Craig, and he wanted to too.

"I've missed you too," I said quietly, almost forcing the out words I'd been too embarrassed to tell anyone about, "So what do you need?"

"Well," Craig said cautiously, "I need a place to stay for about a week."

"What? Why?" I asked frantically, "You're not out on the streets again, are you?"

"No, no," Craig clarified, "Nothing like that. Joey's just really sick. He sent Angela off to her grandma's house and he sent me out on the streets."

"He just pushed you out because he was sick?" I asked angrily, "That's not right at all."

"Well," Craig said again, "I told him I could stay at Sean's house."

"But Sean's been gone for over a year..." I said, not quite catching on.

"Yeah, I know," Craig continued, "I just didn't want him to worry about me. I figured I could find somewhere. And if not, I've spent the night on the streets before. It's not that bad."

"Craig, you got beat up and your guitar was stolen..." I said stupidly.

"Yeah, but I can manage," Craig smiled independently.

"No no, you're staying here," I commanded.

Craig smiled brightly. "Thanks, man," he said happily, gripping my hand gratefully.

"Yeah, sure," I replied excitedly, thinking about what had just happened, "You can sleep on the couch. Oh...and uhh, Jay kind of comes over a lot. So if you have anything against two losers getting drunk every night and whining about how we're miserable...then I guess you shouldn't stay here."

"Nah, I don't mind," Craig said seriously, "Maybe I'll join the festivities."

"Well you'd have to be a loser to do that," I pointed out.

"I am a loser!" he exclaimed, "Ashley left me and all of my friends are paired off with someone. I am always the 7th wheel."

"Who would have thought Alex would find love in someone like Jimmy," I laughed.

:"Yeah," Craig responded, "I'm still really weirded out about that."

We were both silent for a few minutes before I stood up. I walked over to the fridge and looked inside.

"How did you find my apartment, anyway?" I asked Craig as I got an apple out of the fridge.

Craig laughed to himself, "You don't want to know."

"Okay then," I replied, agreeing with his statement, "Well do you want a tour or something?"

"Uhh...sure," Craig said uneasily.

I walked a couple feet to the right of Craig and stood next to the couch.

"This is the family room," I told him, "even if a family couldn't really fit into this room."

I walked a bit farther and stood in the wide doorway that led to my bedroom.

"I sleep in there. It's about the size of a jail cell, but I have a computer in there so if you need to use one..."

I trailed off and then started down to the end of the room. I pointed to a door on my right.

"That is the bathroom."

Craig looked at me, waiting for more.

"And that's the end of the tour," I specified, walking back over to Craig, "Oh, we're in the kitchen, by the way."

He smiled now and stood up. He looked at me gratefully for a few seconds and then he wrapped his arms around me, embracing me tightly.

"Thanks," he said, "for being so Spinner."

"No problem," I said, hugging him back. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. Craig and I were best friends again, and yet it seemed like we were more than that...even if Craig didn't know.


	3. Who?

Craig was in the shower when Jay arrived. Jay came inside without knocking like he always did. I stood up to greet him.

"Hey Spin, where should I put this?" he asked, gesturing to the bottle of liquor in his hand.

"You know it doesn't matter," I replied with a smile.

Jay placed the bottle on the kitchen table, also smiling. He walked over to the refridgerator and looked inside.

"Don't you have ever eat? You never have any food," Jay said plainly.

"Hey, shut that door," I snapped, "Do you know how much it costs everytimesomeone opens that?"

"No," Jay snickered, "But then how can you afford to keep the shower running when no one's in it?"

"Huh?" I said, not realizing what he meant at first.

"The shower--"

"Ohh," I said quickly, "Actually, Craig's in the shower."

Jay raised his eyebrow. Then he started to laugh. I didn't think it was very funny. For the first time in over a year I had my friend back.

"It's not a joke," I added defensively.

Jay stopped laughing.

"So you're serious?" Jay inquired, "Craig Manning is in your shower?"

"Yeah," I confirmed.

"I thought that kid hated your guts...?" Jay said cautiously.

"I guess not," I stated, "He needed a place to stay, so I told him he could stay here."

At that moment, Craig came out of the bathroom door wearing nothing but a towel. Both Jay and I turned quickly at the sound of the door.

"Hey guys," Craig said politely, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I said.

"Hey Jay," Craigacknowledged himwhen he realized that Jay was uncomfortable.

"..Hey.." Jay responded uneasily.

"Don't mind me," Craig said after a short silence, "I'll only be here a couple days."

There was an awkward pause in which we all stared at each other. Suddenly, Craig smiled uncomfortably and then went into my room to change. WhenCraig shut the door, Jay turned to me.

"He hates me too," Jay said sadly.

"He doesn't hate you and he doesn't hate me," I assured him.

"Then why was he looking at me like that?" Jay asked.

"Come on, you don't care about stuff like that," I reminded Jay.

Jay was speechless. I guess he felt defeated or something. He never liked to admit that he had emotions. He'd just wait until he was piss drunk and let them come out in a wave of self-pity and regret.

"Let's open that 151," I suggested, trying to make Jay feel better.

Jay smiled again. I grabbed the liquor bottle from the table and we sat down on my couch. We sat there for a few minutes admiring the bottle before opening it.

"Bottom's up," I said, puttingit to my lips andswallowing hard.


	4. Drunk

When Craig joined us fifteen minutes later, Jay and I had already finished half the bottle of bacardi. He sat down on the floor next to the couch so that he was facing us. There was a brief silence as I took a swig from the bottle and Craig and Jay stared at each other.

"You want some, Manning?" Jay asked, offering up the bottle to him. He had taken on his usual bad boy persona again; probably as a defense mechanism against his discomfort with the situation.

"Sure," Craig replied, smiling. Jay handed him the bottle and he took a drink. He made a face as the liquor slid down his throat and then he started to cough. I don't think Craig is much of a drinker.

"What's wrong?" Jay laughed, "Never had 151 before?" Craig was still coughing.

"No," Craig managed between gasps, "I think I swallowed it too fast."

As the night went on, the three of us got drunker and drunker. Craig was the perfect addition to our late night loser sobfest. He liked to complain about howeverybody was always worried about his bipolar disorder.

"Like Ashley, man," Craig slurred his words as he stared,glossy-eyed, at me, "She was always so hung up on my 'condition' that we never even had fun anymore. It was always 'Craig, did you take your pills?' or 'You're acting weird'.Why can't anyone just forget about my mental state and talk to me like a normal person?"

Jay had started laughing when Craig had attempted to emulate Ashley's voice and he was now doubled over on the floor next to Craig.

"I know what you mean," I said passionately, "It's like they don't see you...they just see your brain...only it's all messed up...or something."

I lost track of what I had meant to say half way through my sentence. My point had been made, but my jumbled sentence made Jay start laughing again. Craig smiled, and then I started laughing at myself.

When the laughter died down there was a strange silence. Ilooked straight ahead, accidentally starting to drift out of consciousness. Jay was lying on his back and Craig was sitting cross-legged in the same place he'd been all night.

"You guys aren't that bad," Craig said suddenly, waking me from my dazed state, "I don't know why everyone hates you so much. Actually, you guys are great!"

"You're great too," Jay said drunkenly, sitting up to face Craig, "I didn't even know you before...but now...I do...know you. And you aren't just a...fucking...you know." The three of us were well beyond the point at whichany of usmade sense when we talked.

As I sat there smiling at Craig and Jay, I felt like my life was perfect.I felt like ifI was with these two guys then I could be happy. Maybe it was real euphoria...or maybe it was just the alcohol. It didn't reallymatter to me.

"I love you guys," I said, resting my head on the couch cushion so I was staring at the ceiling.

"I love you too, man," Jay exclaimed as he grabbed my pant leg and pulled me off the couch. He pulled me into a sloppy hug and patted my back. I put my arms around him and everything felt amazing.

"Come here," Jay said loudly, gesturing to Craig with his arms that were constricted by my body, "Come on, get in on the lovveee." He extended the last word, almost by accident.

When Craig just smiled and continued to stare straight ahead, Jay pulled him into the hug too. Craig didn't have the strength to put his arms around Jay or me; he just laid there...limp, yet comfortable.

And then the three of us fell asleep, entangled together in a drunken mess.

I awoke briefly around 6 a.m. when I heard the front door slam shut. Jay had left. But Craig was still lying on the floor next to me. My buzz was still far from gone, but I managed to stand up and walk over to my room. I grabbed an extra blanket from my bed and brought it out into the hall.

"Craig," I whispered, shaking him awake by touching his shoulder harshly.

Craig muttered something unintelligible and tried to go back to sleep.

"Craig," I repeated, attempting to lift him to his feet this time.

"What? What is it?" Craig said sleepily, standing up with my help.

"Here, sleep here," I motioned to the couch.

He fell back onto the couch and was asleep immediately. I sighed and smiled to myself. Then I took the blanket I had taken from my room and laid it over top of him. Lazily, I made my way back to my bedroom. I collapsed onto my bed and felt the world spin around me. I was hoping for a moment of clarity here. Like, suddenly I would know what I really wanted. I was hoping for an answer asto why sometimes I liked boys and other times the thought disgusted me.

But all I got was a headache. And then I fell back asleep.


	5. Ordinary

"Get up, man," Craig's voice interrupted my sleep.

I opened my eyes lazily and then closed them again for a moment. My hands rubbed at my eyes, almost involuntarily, trying to force myself to become more awake. I sleepily shifted left to look at my alarm clock. It was flashing 12 o' clock. I must have unconsciously unplugged the clock when the alarm went off early in the morning. I looked up, suddenly becoming aware of Craig, who was standing above me, freshly showered and wearing some of my clothes.

"What time is it?" I groaned, sitting up in my bed, which was actually just a mattress on the floor.

"It's 2 o' clock," Craig replied, smiling, "You've been sleeping forever."

I ran my hand through my short hair and unexpectedly let out a yawn.

"I'm not a morning person," I said softly.

"I know," Craig said with a smile, "You used to sleep over at my house like every weekend."

"Oh yeah," I smiled too, slightly embarrassed, "I guess I sort of forgot. It's been so long since we've hung out."

With my blunt acknowledgment that we hadn't been friends for over a year, Craig fell silent. I didn't mean to make it awkward. It didn't matter to me anymore because we were friends again. Craig looked down at me apologetically. Then, he sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry about that," Craig tried to explain himself, "When you and Jimmy started fighting--"

"Don't worry about it man," I said, shaking my head, "It's okay. I understand."

"But, listen," Craig said, looking upset, "I didn't mean anything I said to you. I know you never meant for the prank to go that far. My mental state wasn't so good around the time of the shooting. I mean...I didn't mean..."

"Craig, it's okay," I repeated, "really. You don't have to explain yourself. We all say things we don't mean."

"Oh..." was all Craig could say.

We were both silent again. I stared intently at Craig, who was looking solemnly at the floor. Suddenly, he looked up at me. For a long moment, we looked thoughtfully at each other. Craig's mouth opened slightly as if he were going to say something. He looked extremely vulnerable. In that instant I felt the strongest desire for him.

"I have to be at work in an hour and a half," I said suddenly, looking away in order to detract from the awkwardness of the current situation, "You can hang out here while I'm gone. Have people over or whatever. I don't care."

"I was actually thinking of heading over to The Dot for lunch," Craig replied, "Do you want to grab a bite before your shift?"

"Sure," I answered, becoming a bit excited at the thought of going out to eat with a friend, something I hadn't done in a very long time, "When did you want to go?"

"Whenever you're ready," Craig said, "but hurry up, man. I'm hungry."

"Alright," I yawned, standing up, "I'll take a quick shower and then we'll head out."

"I'll be out here," he gestured toward the family room. And then he disappeared through the door.

As I grabbed a set of clean clothes, entered the bathroom, and turned on the shower, I was in a growing state of euphoria. Everything seemed so much brighter with Craig back in my life. I couldn't help but smile as I undressed and stepped into the shower.

Fifteen minutes later I was dressed and ready to go. Craig was sitting on the couch watching the news as I emerged from my room holding my car keys.

"Ready?" I said coolly.

Craig turned off the TV and stood up briskly. "Yeah, let's go," he replied.

There was an odd silence as we walked down the stairs to the ground floor where my car was parked. I wanted to start conversation, but I couldn't think of anything to say. Did Craig still feel uncomfortable around me? Why wasn't he saying anything? As we got into my car I glanced over at Craig. He was sitting there, emotionless, staring straight ahead. I started the car and shifted into gear.

"Are you alright," I said finally, as we exited my complex.

"Huh?" Craig muttered dreamily. He seemed to be in a very dazed state. 

"Craig," I said louder, trying to get his attention. He looked over at me. He still seemed to be in thought and his eyes looked somehow saddened.

"What's up?" he replied in a somewhat hollow tone.

"Is everything okay?" I inquired, "You seem really out of it."

"Oh," he said, raising his eyebrows slightly, "yeah, I'm fine."

He didn't sound like he was fine. I didn't say anything. I just focused on the road. I felt slightly let down. Perhaps Craig was having second thoughts about being my friend again. Or maybe he really was just using me for my apartment. Would we still be on speaking terms after he went back to his house, or would it go back to the way it was before?

"Do you ever wonder if you'll find someone you can be with forever?" Craig said suddenly in a very serious manner.

"What do you mean?" I asked, taken aback. I tried to sound at ease, but his comment had come out of nowhere. 

"I don't know," Craig continued strongly, "It's just that I've only ever had two real relationships. I mean, if you count Manny."

Craig looked like he felt guilty for an instant, but then it was gone.

"And when Ashley never came back from England I just sort of gave up hope," he continued sorrowfully, "I thought Ashley was the one for me, but she couldn't have felt the same way. I mean, if she couldn't deal with something as stupid as a mental disease then how could she possibly be with me forever?"

"You're still hung up on her?" I asked, slightly in awe that I was having this conversation.

"No, that's the thing," he said getting a bit louder, "I don't want to be with her anymore. And I don't want to be with anyone else either. I've had plenty of opportunity to start things with girls this year, but I haven't felt up to it. I just don't feel like I connect with anyone anymore."

"Well this is just Degrassi, man," I said, trying to be helpful, "There's a whole world of girls out there. I'm sure there's one that you can connect with."

"But what if there's not? What if I'm destined to be alone forever?"

"Come on, dude," I said, slowing down as the stoplight ahead turned from yellow to red, "You know you don't have to be with somebody to be happy."

Craig looked as though he was going to say something more, but then he stopped. He sat back in his chair, becoming more relaxed.

"Are you happy?" he said after a little while, in a much calmer voice.

I considered the question for a few seconds. Surely I was happy without a significant other. I didn't need to be romantically involved with anybody to be happy. Right? I imagined myself kissing Craig momentarily, but I quickly pushed the image away.

"Yeah, I'm happy," I answered, "I don't have anyone and I'm fine with that."

This statement seemed to be the end of our unsettling conversation. Within minutes Craig was already going on about the upcoming final exams. By the time we reached The Dot we were deep in conversation about Kwan's harsh grading scale. As we sat down at a booth inside, my mind was far from the vulnerable state it had been in during our chat in the car. Everything was okay again and all apprehension about Craig's dedication to our friendship was gone.

We were friends eating lunch together. This was all that I'd wanted for the past year. It's odd how something so ordinary can be so comforting. A conversation, a meal, a smile; these very ordinary things can go a long way. At least for me, anyway. This is all I need. For now.


End file.
